The above question seems to be very popular at the moment as people struggle to cope with the current situation the world is in. Our smart brains have shut down and the primitive regions are now engaged in survival mode, which doesn’t require a university degree or indeed any degree of intellect run.
I was in a conversation with Dan the other day and he was explaining that his Grandad was usually the go to guy in the family. “Grandad is measured, fair, logical, you can usually set your watch by him” Dan explained, “But, since this Corona virus began, he’s fallen over, lost the plot, it just doesn’t make any sense”.
David Rock’s SCARF a brain based model of threat and reward
Well it makes a great deal of sense when you look at the human being under the neuroscientist’s lens. David Rock published his SCARF model, which I first discovered in an article called ‘Managing with the brain in mind’ it’s a fantastic read.
SCARF stands for –
- Status – our relative importance to others.
- Certainty – our ability to predict the future.
- Autonomy – our sense of control over events.
- Relatedness – how safe we feel with others.
- Fairness – how fair we perceive the exchanges between people to be.
If you have been following my work on the how fear impacts your mental and physical health then you will be in the know when it comes to FEAR, if not, then read on and keep on learning…
Get uncomfortable before you get too comfortable
These five domains influence our behaviour in social circumstances and if any single one of them is triggered our primitive brain takes over. In ‘The Saboteur Within’ Stuart, (name changed for anonymity) is a district judge, he told me about a woman who after twenty years of marriage filed for divorce. The woman, who was a young solicitor at the time, told Stuart that her husband had beaten her up every Friday night since they first got married. She said that he would return from the pub and promptly attack her. Stuart said that she had an unquestionable reason for divorcing him, but the woman said that wasn’t the reason for her seeking a divorce. Believe it or not, what had triggered her into taking action was the fact that, “recently he has started going out on a Saturday night and giving me the same treatment when he comes home and that won’t do at all!”
The Friday night beatings, though horrific to us, they fitted the SCARF model for this couple. They were known and part of a regular familiar pattern, something she had learned to live with. The Saturday night beatings were different and a challenge to the status quo, finally bringing her out of her comfort zone. In the chaos and confusion that was created by this change, she found the wherewithal to make a positive transformation in her life and was able to access the many more infinite possibilities that existed outsider her abusive marriage. If only that lady knew what else is outside the box, she could have saved herself years and years of pain and misery. Some people would sooner die than change.
Which way do we go from here?
What if we were to apply what we have just read to the current COVID 19 climate? You can see that the SCARF model points to our brains being fogged and unable to function optimally. Now, do we really want to use this stressed out poorly functioning brain to make big life altering, global decisions or should we wait and see?
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.”Lewis Carroll
Dan’s Grandad is waiting for the system to tell him what to do and what to think, as are many people. World leaders are delivering plans, so that they can calm the wild animal that sits beneath the surface of our skull. The need for the SCARF, to formulate a routine so that the conscious reality of life can disappear into a hazy daze and homogenised life can return. As the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be” perhaps that time is here? A time to let go of indifference and to connect with each other, to value each other as unique one of a kind human-beings.
There are those who understand the SCARF model too well. Using it to keep the masses in Fear, so that they stand in the supermarket cue passively obeying the system. For those of you, who like me, are still awake may I remind you that we were born Warriors not Worriers!
You have a moral obligation to create a world without fear. Perhaps Rudyard Kipling can help you in recollecting…
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Pop back again soon and discover more about Fear and how it impacts your health and wellbeing on a daily basis. In the mean time … consider this for a moment, what if my process of evolution is correct? Then using MindReset daily would also have a huge impact on your thoughts and clearing your mind, interested? Take a look http://www.mindhelpapp.com/
Rise and Shine