Why you would want to Lie to a guy your paying to help you i.e. your therapist?
Since around 2001 I have been interested in why clients would lie, suppress, repress and oppress the content of their stories? Maybe it was in order to gain, maintain or refrain from cold harsh and terrifying truths? During the coming months I will be exploring this phenomena and sharing my findings with you. These insights will be found within our hypnotherapy or talking therapy sessions. Please feel free to email your ideas too, and we can share them here.
Maybe a trauma is driving your lie?
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines a traumatic event as:
“1. The person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others.
2.The person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror.”
The greatest time for a person to experience either of the above must surely be during childhood; when the mind is continually information gathering to survive within the environment and ones surroundings. The mind then uses generalisations in order that the new information can be stored and reused at some point in the future.
Could Neuroscience have the answer?
Neuroscience suggests that the limbic system (primitive part of the brain) uses a very simple organizing principle to either minimise threat or maximise reward. This is commonly known as the fight or flight response and is driven by a part of the limbic system called the amygdala this can also be triggered by fear.
When the amygdala is engaged a persons ability to think rationally, creatively or analytically is greatly impaired as it draws glucose and oxygen from the blood stream, leaving one in an un-resourceful state of mind, usually at a time when you most need to think clearly, rationally and quickly.
What if when you were growing up you experienced something so frightening that your brain automatically triggers a neurological chain of events.
Would it then be possible that this cocktail has the ability to cover the tracks of the original event, thus deleting or unconsciously hiding the cause from the conscious mind?
First signs of 'The Nothing'
Often, when a client is asked what are you thinking? or what comes to mind? They will answer "Nothing!"
“Nothing” or “I don’t remember…” or “I honestly don’t know…” The lies begin and the client drops into their 'knowing something' state of mind, whereby they spew forth many conscious constructs of what they believe, is the cause of their problem. Yet, after a period of time and coaching/therapy, they are able to recover information from ‘The Nothing’, which allows them to move forward with their lives
If you were to consider a butterfly for instance, no matter how much coaching and therapy you gave him or her, there would be zero connection to he or she knowing how to fly and yet, they do it automatically. They weren't taught to do this they just 'Learned ' to do it. One morning they awoke from a long sleep inside a cocoon and simply flew.
The same can be said of a person, as until a transition point has been reached they will continue to unconsciously suppress, repress and oppress information that is vital to the chrysalis process of becoming more human.
Can Unconscious Coaching Help?
The literature and research on coaching is advancing simultaneously as the profession itself continues
to expand. However, current models, used in common coaching practice, indicate that there is limited research on the utilisation of below conscious or non-verbal communication (NVC) within the coach/client dialogue. This is the specific area within my own coaching practice that will be explored further in later issues.
It is becoming clearer that NVC or below conscious communication is important, whether from the perspective of the coach or the client/coachee. Otherwise, there is the propensity for miscommunication within the coaching relationship. This maybe risking the client’s potential not being fully realised. This is why; we feel that incorporating unconscious coaching or harnessing NVC in a coaching session will make a difference.
2015 is the year that you are invited to upgrade your skills if you are a coach or therapist and upgrade your life if you are struggling to overcome your own unconscious process. If you are a coach are you engaging your client via his or her own unconscious communication? If you are a client does your coach or therapist utilise the process of Unconscious Coaching or do they bring their own stuff to your session? Costing you both time and money?
You have all of the resources that you will ever need to be successful and live a wonderful life, all you may need is a little help to go.