The answer you’re probably thinking is ‘Yes’, but should it be acceptable for us to feel these states over and over on a daily basis? Over the past few months my diary has been overwhelmed with clients who are suffering with one or more of these emotionally crippling conditions, so I thought I would explain to you in a rational way, the reason you may find yourself behaving irrationally.
“Staying Alert” was once a natural process
When I was a boy, I grew up in what was deemed as a tough neighbourhood, there were plenty of no-go areas, unless of course you liked getting into trouble, having a fight or the sight of blood. I’m sure you know about these areas too, somewhere in your town is a no-go area and you have choice. If you were to find yourself in one of those places by accident, you would become ultra-alert to sounds and movements, the hairs on the back of your neck would stand up as a visceral fear response, to the hostile environment. This is you, a human being responding naturally, doing what you should be doing to protect yourself.
Adaptation friend or foe?
This process of adaptation is what has allowed us to dominate the animal kingdom and reign supreme, however, this same system is now creating misery for many of us as the fear response is being constantly triggered by the world media. Each new sensationalist headline throws another log on the fire, fuelling the adrenaline as it cascades through your body. Your smart brain switches off and the primitive brain takes over, are you going to fight, flight or freeze?
“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
As a child all three of those options were open, in the modern world we aim to kerb the uncivilised ‘fight’ response, through legislation and mob rule. There are those families who have learned, over the last century, how to set up the rules so that the fight can never darken their door, the ‘untouchables’. The people who have the power to live without fear, without having to comply to the mundane system, for which they have an army full of lawyers to choke any accusers voice and drown it out with the weight of ‘fake news’ and the next shiny thing to steal our attention. I digress…
Where were we? Ah… yes, as a child we could flight, run away from home because we wanted to stay at a friend’s house and our parents said ‘No!’. Flight is an option for a tiny few, those homeless folks that you see on the streets of many cities around the world, have chosen ‘Flight’. They, as a friend of mine would say, “have made their vote with their coat” the conditions within their environment have reached the point, from which they can no longer accept the bull, so they leave.
Which leaves us with the Freeze response, again as a child if you walked into the wrong neighbourhood and you were trapped up a blind alley, the bully has you cornered. What’s the best survival response? He or she is too big, so no fight, your exit is blocked, so no flight, in the blink of an eye your brain has made all of these calculations and says curl up take the beating, cry out and plead for mercy, become so pathetic that the attack won’t last long, and don’t try to defend yourself as this will only aggravate your attacker, making it even worse for you. All of this took place when we were young, it couldn’t happen today, could it?
You can only exhibit Anxiety, Anger or Loneliness if fear is present in your life. Helping you to be free from your fear is a nice thing to do and helping the world to be free from fear is my mission. How will you use your Fear today? Will you continue to believe the false evidence or as my father taught me, will you rise and shine?
A free gift to free you
If you need a hand or you know someone else that does, please share my free download, Getting Well Again just pop STAYWELL into the coupon/voucher code at the checkout and it’s yours for free. Be aware that it can take up to a month of listening once a day to help you break your fear pattern. You may also be amazed at the kinds of mental and physical health conditions that fear creates, more on this next time…
“There is no greater illusion than fear, no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself, no greater misfortune than having an enemy. Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe”Lao Tsu